Define Love

Most people never learn how to sustain a loving relationship. The reason is simple. Nobody showed them. The mere fact that a man and woman feel love toward each other does not guarantee they will be able to create a joyful and rewarding life. Love does not automatically teach a person communication skills. Love does not teach a person how to resolve a conflict. Love does not teach people how to weave their love into the rest of their life.

For most people who fall in love, a time will come when they sense the beginning of problems. They know that romantic love can produce great joy and happiness. But with time, they begin to feel more alone. They experience self-doubt and they feel the consequence of their unmet needs. They begin to see the other person more like they truly are and not what they needed them to be. They usually begin to find faults in others and they may become jealous, angry, bitter, sarcastic or cynical. Many will separate or remain together in misery. They will often have children and try to raise a family in an effort to revive the relationship or to feel better. Many will have an affair. When they separate or divorce, some will get involved in another relationship too quickly. They try to find some way to ease the pain. They idealize this new person in their life and the cycle starts over. They say to themselves, "I'll never be hurt like that again.

The exact origin of the desire to love is difficult to comprehend, but can be appreciated in many ways.

When a man and woman encounter each other in midst of love they seek intimate contact. In a general sense, love is a response to something we intimately value. Romantic love is the experience of joy in the presence of a loved one, joy in being close to a loved one, and joy in our interaction with a loved one.

Romantic love is a powerful way to express our capacity to love and to be loved. It is a way to focus our energy, our curiosity, and our desire for adventure. Romantic love is a source of pleasure and inspiration and is worth pursuing. Romantic love is a blessing of life. Romantic love confirms our lovable and capable nature.

We all carry some male and female aspects within us. In men, the male principle is usually predominate. In women, the female principle is usually predominate. A man knows what it feels like to be a man in a way that no woman can fully understand. The same principle applies for women. The difference in perspective available to men and women when encountering each other represents, at least potentially, a deeper range of knowing our self and another person. In other words, a wider range of possibilities exists between men and women than between members of the same sex. The deepest level of self-understanding for a man requires interaction with the opposite sex. In relating to people who are different, especially the opposite sex, we can potentially experience the fullest range of who we are, who we aren’t, and aspects of ourselves we deny or never realized. The polarity between man and woman generates and accentuates self-discovery and self-understanding.

We have all heard how some people can meet someone for the first time and then experience a sudden shock of recognition. There is an odd sense of familiarity, a mysterious sense of having encountered the person before - as if the person was already known. These people experience a sense of fascination over this mysterious familiarity and strangeness. Something is known about this person in a powerful way

*Romantic love is based on shared sight and is shaped by happiness. Immature love is based on shared blindness, and is merely a fortress against pain.

Romantic love is a sanctuary, and a source of nourishment and energy. Sometimes romantic love is the only point of certainty, and the only thing that is solid and real in the midst of chaos and ambiguity.*


Loves.